A Wild, Wild Party

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Is it wrong to be as intrigued as I am...?

I had a guidence apointment today where we talked about 'money issues.' Like how 'we're' going to pay for the SATs and college applications. It was kind of funny, watching my consoler show me different figures all the while squirming. It doesn't make me uncomfortable. I don't think it makes my mom uncomfortable. We recognize that all this shit adds up. And if the school or the state or whatever is willing to help us out with the (incredibly enormous and sadly unneccesary) cost of everything I will be more than happy to sit in her office with her and talk numbers during lunch.


I miss USPA lovers really, really bad. I ache. I've never ached before.

So, school is...schooly.

I still hate getting up in the morning. My room is cold and bright (once my mom turns the lights and the tv {up to full volume} on) My bed is warm and soft and dark. I feel very angry being ripped from my nocturnal-womb.

I think I'll like concert choir. Lots of friends there.
 I sit in US History class with kids I really don't like. I used to think there was a difference between under-achieving and just plain unintelligent. These kids are sadly proving me wrong. I send only the illest regards to Ms. Sharpe for my being stuck in this class. Though the teacher seems cool. Very smart and very liberal but I can't help but think in the back of my head 'Am I possibly being brainwashed right now? I don't feel like I'm being brainwashed. But I'm pretty sure I am.'

English seems okay. Some friends there, at least. And I wrote a pretty kick-ass write-upy thing on Angels in America today. I'm rarely proud of what I produce in class (the side effect from being gravely under-enriched) so when I do do something I like it's a nice surprise. 

Art blahh. Lunch blahh. Chem is kind of horrible. Math blahh.

We'll see.

School on Thursday
Treble Makers some time next week.
Jasmin this weekend.
Broadway on Broadway with Robin next weekend.

I'm very, very excited.

So this whole Pluto thing.....I mean,



IT WAS THE BEST ONE!

Stealing this from Kallen and understand this works much better when you have more friends but whatever...
So the last 20 songs played on my I-pod. Favorite lyric from each. Do you know any of them?

EDIT- These aren't exactly top 40 songs. We'll try again another time. Cool?

_{1) and we just lay awake in lust and rust in the rain.}      On Love, In Sadness - Jason Mraz

_{2) and the minuet between the heart and the breath will save my life.}  Minuet - Idina Menzel

_{3) Was I really seeking good or just seeking attention?}   No Good Deed -from Wicked

_{4) I've longed to discover something as true as this is.}  I'll Cover You - from RENT (go Sasha and Amy!)

_{5) I know that it's freezing but I think we have to walk.}   Lua - Bright Eyes

_{6) I'd say, 'Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess! I've been waiting for someone like you.'}  Shiksa Goddess -from The Last Five Years

_{7) I think I missed. Don't get pissed.}  Contact -from RENT (go Sasha!)

_{8) Let me drown, this evening,  Let me drown.} Let Me Drown -from The Wild Party

_{9) I'll kiss your Doc Martins, let me kiss your Doc Martins!}  Happy New Year A -from RENT (go Jasmin!)

_{10) Good morning Starshine, the earth says 'Hello'}   Good Morning Starshine -from Hair (Jasmin via Tim Burton)

_{11) Sunshine, been keeping me up for days. There is no nighttime, it's only a passing phase.}  Pretty - Elliott Smith

_{12) No we're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy.}  Crazy - Seal

_{13) I never thought you'd be a junkie becuase heroin is so passe.}  Heroin is so Passe - The Dandy Warhols

_{14) Give in to lust, Give up to lust, oh heaven knows we'll soon be dust ...}   Pretty Girls Make Graves - The Smiths

_{15) You and you alone bring out the gypsy in me.}   Embracable You - Billie Holiday

_{16)  Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.}  Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen (Go Sasha!)

_{17) Mary Magdalene, sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you and anoint you. -} Everything's Alright -from Jesus Christ Superstar

_{18) If you hate the taste of wine why do you drink it til you're blind?}  Old Soul Song - Bright Eyes

_{19)  Just let our spirits live on through the lyrics that you hear in our songs.}  Sing for the Moment - Eminem

_{20)  Good morning ladies and gentleman, boys and motherfucking girls. This is your captain with no name speaking and I'm here to rock your world.}   Pussy Control - Prince

I fear I may have webbed feet.

I finally saw the movie Camp which I was told repeatedly over the course of last week was the greatest theater-related film ever.
I wasn't really impressed. Although it did make me wish (any) of the camps I've attended lasted longer. 

And there was a pretty funny part involving kids throwing themselves at the feet of Stephen Sondheim.

But yea, I still like Fame better.

I just wrote a letter (or paraphrased a sample letter) to a few government officials from Connecticut requesting money. Preferibly cold, hard cash.

You see I was invited to this thing which is kind of a mystery in itself. and I'm certainly not paying for it, so I figure...they're good guys, my experience in this state has been pretty smooth so far, I've paid my share of sales tax. My grandfather was a mayor of a prominate city (well, it has it's own song 'Christmas Time in S'taven, anyone?) The least they can do is foot the bill. 

We'll see.

                                                                                             

nuff' said.

I'm really starting to worry about my intelligence. It seems to be decreasing more and more as summer goes on. I thought it kind of funny at first but now it's getting serious. I forget incredibly easy words (remote, blanket, accent) and have severe verbal dyslexia (I asked Sasha where the 'norks' were today. An embarassing combination of 'forks and knives') Any ability I had to tell stories (which wasnt much in the first place) is gone. I should just sit in a corner for the rest of summer and, like, drool or something. I deserve it. 

I would recount the Jeannie-meet-and-greet today but basically everybody that may read this was there. It was fun, I wish I stayed longer. It's pretty kick-ass how I haven't seen/talked to you in more than two years and now I'm corresponding with you almost daily via blessed facebook and livejournal.

I was a little reminisent of Socapa at her (-your) Explo camp. The way everyone was just hanging out in the commons reminded me of right before cerfew while there. Hanging out in that cute park that turned really seedy at 11pm. Just the kind of..the community of it.. It's funny to compare Brookyln to New Haven. I want to say it was missing key ingredients like absolutly insane conviniance store clerks that would lock you in and turn off the lights if he thought police men were on the block. And drunk Jamacian men, but I wont. I'll just say New Haven has more ivy on it's buildings. and everyone appriciates ivy.

Okay so it's official, I will be having at least a week of fun this summer.

In two weeks I'll be going to a 6 day camp at University of Mass. It's an all around performing arts camp but I'll be concentrating in voice. It's kind of funny that a month ago my singing was reserved only for my dogs and anyone within a two mile radius of my bedroom ( I sing loud) as well as a brief stint in the spring one-acts. But now I am recieving vocal training (which is different from a general 'singing lesson' becuase...I'm not really sure. Maybe becuase I had to audition. And it's probably a lot more expensive.) and going to this thing.

It's exciting, I guess. It's no SOCAPA but.....  yay!

Last night I had a dream I was best friends with Alison Lohman. More specifically, Alison Lohman with dark hair when she was around my age in this Lifetime movie I just watched. She was a really good friend.

And then I woke up and it slowly dawned on me that...well, I will probably never meet her in my life, let alone be her bridesmaid. It was kind of sad. In a weird 'Why Alison Lohman in the first place?' way.

yea.

EDIT: I just learned she was actually 21 in Sharing the Secret. And 22 in White Oleander. Not 'around my age.' This discovery has improved my self-esteem quite a bit. yay.

Phantom of the Opera was a.maze.ing.

But of course you all know that. I seem to be the only true dilettante among most crowds. 

I loved it. It was so..theatrical. I'm always surprised about how small theaters are on the inside. And I tend to latch on really irrelavent details during anything I watch and this show was no exception. (so much fire! what are the fire codes in the building {and I checked the firecodes in the lobby during intermission, then obsessed for five minutes about how much fire one could leagally throw, whether it be through flamethrowers or guns or just a plain oil spill and match, while still obeying the fire code} and the pounds and pounds of curls the ballet dancers carried around on their heads. and the way all the male chacerters had their eyebrows painted on but none of the females did. and my dire need to figure out how every stunt is proformed almost immeditly after it happened. and how long the lady behind me was going to cry. {I hope it was a happy cry; you know 'this is beautiful' or 'I'm so touched'})

I am also absolutley fasinated by anybody that can dance on pointe. I tried on my friends pointe shoes once and just having my feet in them was torure, anybody that can balence their entire body weight on one toe on those damn shoes deserves lots and lots and lots of flowers.

After it was over we went down to the stage to watch the orcestra (which was under the stage.)  They were really great. The usher had to physically escort us and several others away from the pit after ten minutes, saying they really needed to start cleaning up for the next show.

We went to the stage door a block over. Not a lot of people were there and Rebecca Pitcher (Christine) took a picture with me. I said she did 'awesome.' Then I turned twelve shades of red and crawled under a rock. 

But I left the rock shortly after realizing I didn't really care to see the rest of the actors so we walked up Forty-Third. We cut up (west Forty-First ? I'm really bad with streets..) and that's where Nederlander is. And the matinee of RENT was out and some actors where doing the pseudo-stagedoor thing that RENT does and it is a lot more lax and cool and (touristy) fun. So I got a picture with Tim Howar (the guy playing Roger who I saw two months ago) and even talked to him a little bit.  (he had a very nice forth of July, thankyouverymuch. 'Beer and fireworks.' hmmm.) and I also got a picture with the woman playing Mimi who I didnt see two months ago. She was really pretty and I think I (superficially) like her better than the Mimi I saw. I really didn't like the one I saw for really biased and irrevevant reasons only I can truly grasp. But yea, it was a good time.

I finished a book on the train. Maybe I'll talk about that later. Maybe. 

Moral of the story: Kiernan needs to stop fixating on details, talking and talking to whomever will listen about said details, see shows before she judges them and to learn to sing. 

goodnight.

I feel like I'm Snow White in my house sometimes. When she walks through the woods and sings to all the cute animals. Only instead of squirells and blue birds I get moths and mice. (Okay, mouse. But sooner or later it will reproduce.) I kind of like them. I wish I knew the song she sang becuase if any of you know me you know it very well fits my charecter to serenade squatting rodents.

I wish my computer would realize I'm not interested in hooking up with hot, young, local singles.
Even if it is 'no strings attached.'
And no amount of X-rated pop up ads is going to change that.